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To Be or not to be - How do I know if they are ‘the one’

Relationships often throw out more questions than they do answers and, one of the questions I hear all the time is, ‘how do I know if he / she is the one?’

Follow the signs to the one

If we’re honest, most of us are looking for a life long, fulfilling relationship and, many of us have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find a prince. This can mean that we’re examining each of our relationships for signs that this person is ‘the one’ . Whilst not always lit up in neon, those signs are there if you know where to look and, the following is my guide to finding them.

The comfort zone

When we’re with the right person, we tend to feel that we don’t have to try too hard to impress. A good sign that you’re with the one is when you feel completely relaxed in his or her company and you’re not watching what you say or how you look. This shows that you trust that your partner is happy to be with you, warts and all.

The ups and the downs

For me, this is the most telling sign that you’ve found the one. If he or she is the first one you want to tell when you receive news - good or bad - this indicates that this person is your best friend, not just your current squeeze.


A well rounded, long term relationship is always founded on respect - which means respect for your opinions, your boundaries and your beliefs. If your partner ticks all of these boxes, you’re definitely on the right road to finding the one.

Future tense

When a relationship is right, its natural to talk about the future and to even make plans. It’s also natural to want the same things from that future. If your partner willingly talks about a future with you in it, you may just have found the one. Beware though, if your partner actively avoids talk about the future, it may be time to cut your losses.

Team us

A real, lasting relationship is a team of two. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re joined at the hip but, it does mean that you make decisions together and that you have each other’s back - always. If your partner talks ‘us’ rather than ‘me’ then there’s a good chance that you’ve found yourself a keeper.

Common ground

For a relationship to work, it’s important to have shared interests, friends and goals. I’m not saying that you need to become clones of one another in matching tracksuits but, rather, you enjoy doing the same things - and doing them together. Although its fine to have independent interests and friends, the one will generally be somebody you enjoy spending as much time with as possible.

Figuring out if your significant other is the one is really about how you feel about your partner - and how your partner makes you feel. If you don’t see yourself with anybody else and, your partner constantly gives the impression that he or she feels the same way then, congratulations, it’s time for one to become two!


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