he modern world, we have more opportunities available to us than ever before. From studying to nabbing your dream job, the world is quite literally your oyster when it comes to options personally and professionally. Whilst this is great for personal development, what does it mean for our love lives when it comes to dating and romantic relationships?
Distance is no object
As exciting as it is to take a course or new job which allows you to explore a new city or country, you may find it involves more baggage than just your designer cabin bag. If you’re in an established romantic relationship, even a temporary move can take a strain on your love life. In this article, we’ll share a few of our tips to bridging those miles to make your long distance relationship work.
Put the phone down
Yes, you read that right. Communication is, of course, vital in any relationship and, more so in a long distance one. Having said that, when it comes to long distance communication, you really can have too much of a good thing. Resist the urge to text, call and message your significant other throughout the day and night and, where possible, stick to agreed times to create a routine around distance in virtual dating and for your relationship. When you or your partner first move away, it can leave you feeling a little insecure and, you may feel that you need to ‘check in’ all the time. In reality, this can actually add further strain to the relationship; particularly if one partner begins to feel distrusted.
Sharing is caring
Whilst living apart, it’s natural that you and your partner will develop new interests - but you don’t need to keep them to yourself. If you enjoy a particular Netflix show or an activity such as cooking a meal, you can still do this together - apart. Share a recipe with your partner and put together a ‘meal and movie’ night whereby you cook and eat the same food and watch the same movie. Afterwards, you can then discuss these things just like you would if you had done them together in the traditional sense.
Keeping things intimate
OK, I’m not going to lie - this is a bit of a tricky one. One of the hardest (if you’ll excuse the pun) things about being apart is the lack of physical contact with your squeeze. You will, of course, be aware of the possibility of phone and video sex but may find the idea a little bit, well, icky. Believe me, I feel your pain - the idea terrified me at first but, don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be scary. The first thing to remember is that you don’t have to suddenly turn into some kind of pro porn star when handling things remotely. Just be yourself and, encourage your partner to do the same and you’ll soon get the hang of things.
Checking in when going out
One of the stumbling blocks of many long distance relationships comes in the form of a social life. Whilst living apart, you and your bey can’t be expected to stay in every night - and neither should you. What you can be expected to do is to allay any insecurities by telling your partner about your plans, including where you’re going, with whom and, when you expect to be home. I’m not suggesting that you write a detailed report but, sharing your plans encourages trust and helps you to avoid any misunderstandings.
Set a time limit
Although it’s perfectly possible to make things work long distance for a while, this becomes a little more unrealistic long term. Have a candid conversation with your partner about the estimated length of the separation and, what your plans may be once it’s over. By setting a goal such as moving in together in your home town at the end of your three year degree course, you can move forward together with a shared goal.
Rather than destroying a relationship, going long distance for a while can actually make it stronger. Just make sure that you make your intentions clear at all times and, keep a positive goal in mind.