So, you’ve met somebody new and the sky is full of fireworks and your tummy is full of butterflies. There’s nothing quite like the wonderful euphoria that those first few weeks bring but, how do you know if it’s the real thing?
Body and soul
Turn on the radio and you’ll hear any number of songs about love but not so many about lust. When we first meet somebody that we’re attracted to, endorphins are a-flying and it can be tricky to figure out if it’s the real deal or just physical attraction. So, how do you tell love from lust? Read on.
It must be love
When Cupid strikes, you’ll still experience that familiar tug of sexual attraction but, there’s much more to it than that. We often hear the phrase ‘love at first sight’ and, while love generally takes a little bit longer, there is something to this. Often, when we meet somebody new, the physical attraction is matched by the feeling that you’ve known him or her much longer than you actually have. If we’re going to be poetic, you could say that this is two souls recognising one another. If we’re going to be pragmatic, it’s more a case that you’ve ‘clicked’ and that you’ve discovered that you share interests, goals and ideals.
Love - the telltale signs
You find yourself thinking about that person all the time
Your friends notice that you manage to mention his or her name, no matter what the topic of conversation
You value that person’s opinion on most subjects
That person’s happiness is as important to you as your own
You can’t wait for your friends to meet him or her
If you’ve checked all of those boxes, then there’s a good chance that it’s love, however, before you book the church, let’s take a look at the indicators that it’s just lust:
Lust - the telltale signs
You find yourself thinking about that person all the time
Your friends notice that you manage to mention his or her name, no matter what the topic of conversation
Your conversations with that person tend to revolve around intimacy
You rarely feel an urge to speak with that person without intimacy, such as phone calls when you’re not together
As you can see, there is an overlap with love and lust and, this is where the confusion often lies. Lust can be powerful and can often mimic the feeling of being in love. However, if that person doesn’t interest you on an intellectual level - and you find that their happiness and wellbeing isn’t a priority for you, you may find that you’ve bought yourself a one way ticket to Lustville.
There’s nothing wrong with a relationship built on lust, as such, however, if you are looking for something a bit deeper, it’s a good idea to make sure that you identify and recognise the differences in order to avoid disappointment in the long term.