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Millennial Dating- What The Fluff?

So when I first heard this term ‘Millennials’ it was from the mouth of at Entrepreneur Mags 360 conference. I'll be really honest- I hadn't a clue. I just nodded my head and pretended I knew what the fluff everyone else was agreeing to. Later I did a little google and realised exactly what they were talking about, as a ‘Millennial’ they were talking about me. Okay, so obviously I was not as cool as the rest of the crowd who obviously knew all about Generation Y. So if you were born early 1980’s to early 2000’s welcome to the Millennial label. No probs.

Cutting to the chase. Apparently we Millennials date differently according to many an article floating about the web at the moment. Looking at it a little more closely and peeling back the layers... it’s true- courting (as my Gran would say) is almost a foreign concept, but that's okay, we have to cultivate in every area of our lives and so it’s time to take a look at the way dating using tech is evolving and where we are going right. Or wrong.

Textpectations. I’m just going to put this out there, that I feel like we are lowering our dating expectations via using text and in the same breath, ask when did it become okay to remove courtship out of dating and begin a novel's worth of text exchanges to flatter the pants off someone? It’s never okay; especially if it’s before a first date. Just get off your bum and meet them.

Frantic Facebook stalking. This is a big no go. Stalking someone online is also never okay. By all means get a bit of proof the person is legit for safety reasons but stalking them to the extent you know exactly what they had last Sunday for brunch is a little o.t.t. don’t you think? You can refer to their LinkedIn profile for a less personal invasion of privacy- this seems to be the ‘in thing’ so I hear.

Whats up with Whatsapp? A question I received once about the trials and tribulations and the games played with Whatsapp messenger. To be honest, at the time wasn’t so sure this was even a ‘thing’ but I totally get now how you can fall into the Whatsapp instant messaging mode. In this realm of communicating it seems singletons can play games should their hearts so desire and pretending not to be instantly, readily available to chat. I don’t think this is a great way to get to know someone unless you’re already a few dates in. As far as I am concerned this is just another method of texting and the sooner you can meet someone the better. Do this before swarms of messages and masses of confusion set in. Just go on the date and check out the chemistry; not your smart phone.

Dating Apps. A fast track to love but be prepared to date many and often until you get there. You’re needle in a haystack is out there you just have to be patient, unless you’re lucky enough to meet Mr or Miss Perfecto in the first few dates. Don’t keep swiping with this ‘next please mentality’, I suggest when it’s a match try to magic up an actual date and seeing if there is any real chemistry. You can’t judge at all by all this tech chat- we need to bring some human interaction back into the equation.

Twitter. Not the regular dating hype but I have heard plenty of stories about people finding love by chatting to each other about what's hot and what’s not in their tweet feed. That’s quite cool and quite organic as far as meeting online can get. Give it a go- see what happens.

Online Dating Websites. Yes, I am all for this as a means to meeting someone special. I would highly recommend websites such as Guardian Soulmates, eHarmony and of the bunch. There are so many new options so full speed ahead.

Meddling Matchmakers. Your very own personal dating gurus. There are many accredited experts out there who really are wonderful, passionate and fabulous as their jobs. If you are time poor, like many Millennials, get someone to do the hard part for you and help you find your someone. That should leave you with the fun!

Call me old school but I prefer old fashioned wooing. I know, I know...we must evolve as technology does but you have to admit it’s all getting a little bit complicated. The process is prolonged. By all means utilise what you can to get out there but must we really make the whole thing harder on ourselves by following the crowd all of the time. On that note- snapchat is not dateworthy please don't use this as a way to flirt with your potential partner.

Wowzers - it’s all so complicated (pass me the wine) it’s almost like every time we think we’ve nailed dating in a world of technology we hit a new layer of confusion. This Millennial dating mentality is like an onion, you have to peel back the layers and find the one which is just right for you. You will get there with the end goal in sight.

So in a nutshell… technology is not slowing down in any way, shape or form in business, personal gadgets or dating. It means we as human beings need to speed up and get with the times or evolve in the way we search for love. Welcome to dating as the Millennials do.

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