Recently I had the pleasure of meeting Lyn Smith, an International Relationship Coach who spends her time educating singles and couples in the art of effective communication. Lyn, who describes herself as the Queen of Hearts, has a very powerful message, a very emotive story of her own and a mission to help us understand the difference between both masculine and feminine energy in order to make a love last. Here Lyn tells us how you can go from casual to committed using the power of polarisation.
By Lyn Smith, International Relationship Coach
I believe you can defy the odds, overcome adversity and achieve massive relationship success by using the power of polarisation.
Since the human race began we have all possessed masculine and feminine energy and regardless of your gender (whether you are in a female or male body) we all have a natural, more dominant energy which is our gender identity, what you are, at your authentic core.
For you to have friendships you need to have things in common with other humans; similarities create ‘connection’ and most people are prepared to settle for this in their intimate relationships, usually because we perceive it’s socially acceptable to be the same or because of fears attached to our past negative experiences in our previous interactions / relationships with men.
But for there to be real ‘passion’ & fulfilment in your intimate relationship you need complimentary differences; these being the sexual polarisation of the positive masculine and feminine energies present; the more extreme on the masculine and feminine ends of the scale you are, the more passion & intimacy you will experience in your personal relationship. Everyone unconsciously knows this to be true regardless of their sexual orientation.
So how did most of us end up just settling for connection in our choice of man? Or maybe you started off in your relationship with passion present but somehow it’s different now, you don’t know what happened, you’ve just accepted that the honeymoon period is over and that’s just the way relationships are meant to be right?
Wrong! I’m here to tell you that you can have a life time of passion, commitment and intimacy in your relationship with your man.
So How Did You Lose The Passion?
Women have rightly strived for equality in areas such voting rights, education, work & pay etc. - which is great - I 100% support that. However some of us have also learnt through the ways we’ve been parented, educated & influenced by society in general, how to succeed in these areas by using men as our role models, and have therefore been conditioned to tap into our masculine energy by displaying masculine traits and characteristics in the belief that that’s the way we are going to succeed in the modern world.
These masculine habits are all well and good and can be very useful to women, such as in the workplace or if you’re in a fearful or dangerous situation. But you don’t need to ‘live’ permanently in your masculine energy. If you want to create passion, commitment and intimacy in your personal and private relationships with men, it’s not going to happen if you’re connecting with him like another male, or if you’re trying to turn him into a male version of yourself!
The answer is to be true to your authentic feminine self.
Brines Study believes the quandary many couples find themselves in comes down to this: “The less gender differentiation, the less sexual desire.” In other words, in an attempt to be gender-neutral, we may have become gender-neutered!
You were not born to be an asexual being, in other words you are not meant to be the same one gender which reproduces itself. There is a reason why there are males and females, and why we are different not just physically but mentally and emotionally too.
Your primal instinct is driving you to enjoy a healthy relationship at its highest level; unfortunately due to our modern conditioning most of us have just unconsciously learnt to suppress who we naturally are at our feminine core….
When you have found your significant person and want to know when the right time to take all those dating and relationship milestones is then take a look at this article I helped put together here for the Evening Standard.