Shhh Dating events, as featured in Time Out, are a firm favourite of singles in their 20's and 30's who are looking to get out in the world and make real connections offline. Founder Adam Taffler who works as an intimacy practitioner founded Shhh Dating 4 years ago where singles let the eyes do the talking in order to potentially make lasting connections. Adam and his team at Shhh have currently complied a series of 4 avant-garde events in London at Farmopolis set to challenge the users of apps to silently immerse themselves in the company of other singles and go beyond gender, beyond talking, beyond their screens of viewing profile pictures and even not drink alcohol for that dependant dutch courage to attend a dating event. With Shhh taking dating outside the box I asked founder Adam to compile his top 5 tips to navigate one of upcoming singles events. Here it goes...
#1 No Talking
At some of our events there are periods with no talking because it’s all about finding the spark before you find the right words. At Shhh we are way more interested in the person behind the words. Words can lie, they can cover things up, they can bore you to death. We have lots of playful games developed over 4 years to help people click without the need for talking. Some people can talk so much they don’t allow you to see their beauty. For a little while, taking a break from talking gives space for other connections to arise. It can be surprising what a great quality of attraction it leads to. It’s exciting territory and excellent for finding a mate. And at the end of the night there’s always plenty to talk about.
#2 Eye Gazing
It can make people fall in love in 4 minutes, helps to build bonds and brings out the best in you and others. Currently we are the only dating company in the UK (probably the world) that does this. Dating profiles can only say so much and the truth is we are way more mysterious and complex than can be said in a few pictures or words. And people are fed up of being misled and mistreated by pixels.
When you take a moment to eye gaze with someone, you meet the whole person. Many relationships break down because people only show their perceived best bits and expectations are built. When the truth comes out trust is broken and things collapse. When you’ve found a connection through eye gazing you’re playing with a full deck of cards and its likely you’ll go deeper and further.
#3 Getting the high without alcohol
Where as some dating events rely on you getting so drunk that you loose your inhibitions, at some of ours we encourage no alcohol. We use a potent strain of Guatemalan cacao to get you high instead. Cacao (the raw ingredient for chocolate) contains bliss inducing chemicals and when taken in the right way can get you seriously ‘in the zone’. We’ve been going to cacao parties and trying out infusions of different herbs to get the mix just right. Instead of getting woozy on booze, cacao makes you feel euphoric, open hearted and clear. A seriously good catalyst for dating. And with no regrets or hangover the next day its a big win.
#4 Lessons in the art of touch
Touch is so important and so overlooked. The way you hold someones hand or touch their shoulder has deep meaning, its a really important way to communicate and a good way of exploring connection.
People in the UK touch each other far less than Europeans and that is a tragedy. Touch can unlock some of cupids secrets and at Shhh, we put the right boundaries and knowledge in place to help that happen. I’d like to say more about it here but it’s secret, so you’ll have to come to one of our nights to find out what I mean.
#5 Feel Great
At the end of the evening if you have found a romantic connection or not, you will feel really, really good. Because whilst at other events you might feel judged or rejected, the quality of contact you get at Shhh Dating means you will be feeling like you’ve been met, treated like a human being and happy. Like you just spent a really worthwhile night. Like you know yourself and others a little bit better and you just increased your Jedi powers. And who doesn’t want to be Jedi?
If swiping left and right on your many dating apps is becoming frustrating and your list of pen pals compiled from continuous online dating then perhaps you should get yourself along to one of Shhh Dating's four evenings exploring intimacy, dating and gender in the modern age. What does it mean to be intimate with someone? Why do we find it hard to make eye contact with others? Why is eye gazing so powerful that it can make people can fall in love after 4 minutes? These are some of the questions that will be addressed by Shhh Dating founder Adam Taffler in a 30 minute talk at this fun and informative event. After the talk there will be a practical session to try out eye gazing in a non-romantic context before socialising at the end. Check out upcoming events and dates.