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Navigating The Friend Zone - How To Turn Mate Into Soulmate

We can all agree that having friends is pretty great. Whether it’s someone to share a favourite movie with or a confidante for sharing problems, life would be a lot less fun without our pals. But what if you want more?

Keep your friends close

At one time or another, most of us have been unlucky enough to fall for somebody who doesn’t feel the same way, relegating us to the ‘friend zone’. Being friend zoned by your crush can be, well, crushing but, don’t worry, there may still be hope. Sadly, there are times when it’s a simple case of attraction - or lack of it - and you might just not be your crush’s type. In this situation, there’s not a great deal to be done and, it’s probably best to accept the friendship and move on. However, often, there are a number of factors at play which result in the dreaded ‘let’s just be friends’. It could be that your crush has just got through a tricky break up or he or she has been holding out for an answer from a crush of their own. The good news here is that this means that the initial decision may not be a permanent one so, how do you steer your way out of the friend zone and start dating and building a relationship?

Good times ahead - if you get the timing right

In the case of your crush getting over a break up, the answer might be as simple as just giving it time. As a friend, you’re in the perfect position to offer support and a shoulder to cry on and, with a bit of luck, your crush will emerge from the break up blues with a new perspective on your relationship.

Reset the typeface

In a lot of cases, the friend zone happens because the crush has a certain type that he or she goes for every time - and you don’t fit the profile. The thing to remember is that, each and every one of the relationships the crush had with ‘the type’ didn’t work out - which means that there’s hope for you. Instead of trying to mould yourself into the set profile, try highlighting your own strengths. For example, ‘the type’ may be clingy which, ultimately, suffocated the relationship - in which case, demonstrate the benefits of being around somebody who is fabulously independent, like yourself.

Signals are the roadmap to clarity

So, your crush has played the friend zone card but he or she keeps flirting with you. This kind of mixed messaging can be frustrating as well as confusing, leaving you unsure as to how to proceed. First, you need to figure out if the flirty behaviour is just for you or, is simply a part of your crush’s personality. If it’s the former, then it appears that he or she is physically attracted to you; so what’s the problem? In this situation, it’s time to look at the bigger picture - does he or she tend to date people with a certain kind of job or a shared love of a particular hobby? I’m not, of course, suggesting that you change your career to suit your crush but, by taking an interest in the things that interest him or her, you may be able to break the gridlock and navigate your way out of the friend zone in time.

Being friend zoned can be disappointing, however, circumstances do often change and, if you’re prepared to put in the time and effort, there’s a good chance that you’ll be able to turn things around and transition your crush from mate to soul mate.


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