Breakup season occurs in the lead-up to Valentine’s Day and so when Spring has sprung that’s when a lot of new singles start writing a new chapter, often unexpectedly, no matter if the parting of ways was amicable. A recent survey from Gumtree showed that breakups can be the most expensive part of the relationship cycle, with the average cost of parting ways in the UK being £6,717 but £8,074 for those that dwell in London, specifically when a significant relationship ends. However, we don’t hear too many people talking about the emotional costs of a breakup or how to break that spell of feeling a little lost in this brand spanking new single life. So with so many individuals going through heartbreak and the fact that breaking up is so hard to do, making the way down that new path needn’t be such a difficult task. I have curated a few top tips to taking the first few steps forward. So let’s get started:
#1 Get Organised. Trying to organise your thoughts during and after a breakup can be really tough to do but in order to think straight you need to straighten up your environment. I always think a tidy home or a tidy office is a tidy mind and when heartbreak hotel hits home you need to untangle those thoughts and all that clutter surrounding you. The best way I can advise you to do this is write lists, plan your packing of boxes and prepare to get rid of the old in order to welcome the new. Get a new planner, stock up on those note books and perhaps use a fresh one every month as you push towards progress. If in the beginning if even organising yourself to organise your life seems a little overwhelming then be sure to ask friends, ask family and if all else fails think about a part-time personal assistant; that should probably do the trick!
#2 Get Moving. Feelings of overwhelm can come in waves through heartbreak and so the best way to get back to feeling a little bit more ‘you’ again is to get moving, so get out there releasing some endorphins. Go for a walk, go to the gym, go for for swim, start running but whatever you do, do not sit still for too long. When you go through heartbreak it can be super duper easy to stay snuggled on the sofa and not feel so fabulous focusing on feelings of hurt and relationships gone. The best thing to do for your physical, mental and emotional self is to just get moving. Treat yourself to some new fitness gear or even better invest in a gorgeous personal trainer to help you got motivated to move.
#3 New Wardrobe. Sticking with the ‘out with the old and in with the new' mentality we should be applying the same to your wardrobe post breakup. It’s not good energy to keep outfits, gifts or anything of significance as reminders of relationships that have passed - gift them to charity or sell your old stuff and give yourself a style overhaul for your new relationship status. You probably don’t need me to tell you that breakups can give our confidence a huge knock, especially if you were not the one doing the breaking. So, refresh, revamp and restyle yourself into a much more confident, vibrant you. It is Spring after all.
#4 Get Back Out There. Making the most of meeting new people is a really great way to feel a little more vibrant. I am not talking about throwing yourself out there again in the dating game - I mean make new friends and new memories. Meeting new people that don’t know you, your recent experiences or in fact, your previous partner is a breath of fresh air. Nobody needs a pity party so why don’t you see what’s happening in your local community, what’s going on in your town and push yourself out of your comfort zone; you’ll feel a new energy with a bigger circle of friends and experiences.
#5 Learn Something New. New experiences such as heading to a cookery class, learning a language, taking part in a new sport or class of some kind can give our brains the rush of dopamine that we definitely could do with post-breakup. If you’re not quite ready to get back out there then perhaps you could get a tutor to come to you and work closely with you in a dedicated manner on whatever it is your heart desires.
Whilst the economy of a breakup can be quite hefty, those who have been through heartbreak before or perhaps going through it right now, will know that any tips to emotional recovery are priceless. You may not think it today but time really is the greatest healer. One thing others may always say, and I hear often, is ‘it takes around half the time you’ve known someone to get over them’ well my answer to this is - it doesn’t. It’s not about the length you’ve loved but it’s more about the depth you loved and so with that in mind you have to do what it takes in order to move forward and if you can create a positive routine to push for progress then why not try throwing in a few, if not all of the above steps, and soon you will be back to feeling a little more ‘you’ again.